meet the press FBI Food Court Nixon Penn Ave Not Jefferson
Meet the Press

From time to time, one of our fellow Washingtonians becomes inordinately attractive to the press for reasons like one of these:

  • A tiny, little peccadillo has been alleged involving spectacular fraud, mind-numbing corruption, systematic tax evasion, unattractive sexual behavior, or some other exquisite bottom-feeding malfeasance.

  • He is clearly and blatantly lying about it.

  • He is resigning his position voluntarily to spend more time with his family.

  • He is trying to explain that there are mere misunderstandings that have led to his indictment, and they will be cleared up soon. He is also suggesting someone else is to blame, and he promises to name names.

  • The draft prepared by his lawyer is a boilerplate cover-up balloon, rapidly losing air.

  • The press can sniff blood (and Pulitzer Prize material) from some distance, and is making so much hoopla that the object of its attention has resorted to a somewhat childish facial expression.

  • Half of the people in Washington hope to get discovered, while the other half (like this fellow) desperately try not to be.
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